we made it back

Tonight I was reminded of a lot of different things, and most of them made me smile. Jaime and Arissa took some Dakota House girls to see the "reality haunted house" in town. I offered to go along for the ride and to hang out with the girls. Because it was about this time just a few years ago when my hairdresser told me of this woman who had a girls group that wanted someone to come in and discuss Halloween, and she asked me if I would do it. I accepted, that woman was Jaime, and a short time later I invited her to a prayer meeting, never thinking she would show up and had really left out most of the details, and that night she showed up. The rest is history, as Jaime is now one of my closest and dearest friends. So, I hold a fondness in my heart for this group of girls that she ministers to. Things were not looking good for me to actually be able to show up, as there was a homicide at an elementary school and Dave got called back to work 5 minutes before I was to leave. I called Jaime and explained it to her, she prayed, I prayed, and I got on the phone, Shannon of course came through for me like always and I rushed over grabbed Callista out of soccer practice, darted across town to Shannon's dropped the kids off and drove back across the other side of town to meet up with Jaime and co. I was a bit frazzled by this time and took a quick "break" to calm down. We all drove together to the place, downtown Fresno at night, my favorite! The first thing I noticed was the paintings on the walls of the building depicting the devil and not much else, then I noticed the music blaring from speakers, it would jump from some sweet Disneyesque music to the music from The Shining and the Halloween movies with Jason, you know, the creepy kind that just makes you a little edgy. The price was steep( I thought), the lines were long and it was cold and that darn music was getting on my last nerve. Now, this place had a souvenir stand! That's right, I am so serious! They sold t-shirts and stuff with the grim reaper holding the devil on a throne with the word Nightmare on it. I was a little disgusted to be honest! We had to sign consent forms and the whole bit, they had over aggressive "cops" who made me cross the street to smoke! Whatever. We waited in line with a bunch of Aryan Brotherhood White Pride people who cut in front of us in line, we jockeyed for position before finally relenting and waiting the extra 15 minutes. We got "wanded" for weapons I assume, and then finally we were in. The second we get into the "rules" room, one of the girls whom I have never met, grabbed my hand and hung on for dear life. It made me feel so protective and a little nervous. The way this thing works is, you go in a group of about 10 people at a time through a series of rooms and they have a guide take you through. The first room, ok it is a drunk driving accident, not too bad, except I smell an odor that I should not be smelling in here, and mention it to Jaime, she agrees but we continue on, The next room, is the "party" room, drugs being snorted, smoked, shot, whatever, except that odor from the previous room is what I had thought, POT! No lie! Really and truly they were smoking joints, and the aroma was thick!! I clung tight to this little girls hand and felt truly disgusted! We keep going, room after room, most disturbing to me, a room where this girl in a wedding dress is standing next to a dead body of another girl in a wedding dress and the devil is heard to be saying he needs to find a new bride. WHAT?!?!?! Didn't like that too much! I started getting to a point where I didn't think I could take much more of it. But that sweet child's hand gripping tighter to mine snapped me back. We descend or whatever into Hell and there are people of all ages screaming that they are burning and to help them. Then we meet a puppet? And it is saying come see Jesus and some other really bizarro carnival crap, and then they shock you by whipping open a curtain and having people whipping Jesus behind you. A few more rooms of them nailing Jesus on the cross and telling you " why would you look to Him to save you He can't even save himself" and then Jesus on the cross. Final room a man who looks normal telling you this whole experience has been your imagination and not real and his face goes from a man to a devil and then he mocks you some more the lights go out and then this huge devil is in front of your face reaching out for you. You end with a short blurb from the pastor about how you have seen the reality of sin and the love of God, Jaime and I both didn't remember seeing any love of God shown, there was no message about the flip side to all of it. It felt hollow and meaningless to me, I wish that it could have been more. I am glad that I went, to be with Jaime and the girls, to leave my worries and fears behind for a few hours and help others, to remember why I hated the coven so much, to remember where I have come from, to remember why I so hate Halloween and even with churches trying to make it something good, it just isn't. And can never be, because it is a satanic holiday, period. No sugar coating, no pretending it isn't that bad, no way, no how, it is what it is! I believe perhaps that it may help some people, but I don't want to go back. In a few days, it will actually be Halloween, and what will happen in the next few nights is the real Nightmare, if only people knew, it's not a game, it's not fun, it's so real, and so evil and so many are sucked in. I pray that I can remember what it felt like to protect that child tonight, in the coming days, because so many kids I couldn't.