you tell me

you tell me....do you automatically think that physical pain is awful? that you would rather have any other kind of pain but physical? have you been physically hurt before? because, i need answers, i need to know that this pain, this gnawing at my mind, breaking of my heart, shattering of my spirit, is less painful than physical pain. i need to know that i can't trade one for the other, and if i had to choose which is less painful. i need to know that other people would choose to "feel" the emptiness inside of them over a solid beating. maybe i don't remember so well, but to me, physical pain is far less intrusive as "feelings", it hurts really bad, and then you heal, in my mind, the pain intensifies, grows and grows, it gets added to, more and more "feelings" come into play, it doesn't stop growing, it doesn't heal, it stays fresh in my mind, it brings me to bitterness and lonliness and hopelessness, and yet it continues to ache. there are no band-aids for what is hurting me. you tell me....which would you choose?