brad and jesus. the dynamic duo.

This morning Brad told me he had a gift for me. From God. It was this dream.

Never underestimate God and His perfect timing.

Quote for the day

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."

--Philo of Alexandria

yeah. and it comes with a dvd. okay. yeah. thank you baby.

watch video clip here.

"When heaven is about to confer

A great office upon a [woman],

It first exercises [her] mind with suffering,

And [her] sinews and bones with toil;

It exposes [her] to poverty

And confounds all [her] undertakings.

Then it is seen if [she] is ready."

--Mencius

My dad

I just got an email from my sister telling me that my dad has cancer. Apparently it is in two places, shoulder and chest. He is 83 years old. Please pray that though this he will somehow, someway come to know the forgiveness and salvation of Jesus.

guess who got a digital camera for Christmas?!

sarie, the subway strike, and our growing season

Spent about an hour on the phone with my daughter Sarah this morning. The subway strike has complicated things for her, of course. I listened as she told me how she (and hundreds of others) tromped in the cold across the bridge from Brooklyn to get to her job in Manhattan (about a two hour walk) only to find that the chef of the restaurant where she works hadn't made it, so there wasn't work for anyone. Sarie counts it all as adventure... is still loving her new home and discovering not only the city-- but herself... who she is away from all of us, growing and stretching... yet clinging to the security of knowing she is loved, prayed for, missed. Our first Christmas with a family member missing will be hard. It is a growing season for our family, with all the inevitable pain. It is the hardest for Emily, I think, who misses her big sister terribly.

"I'm not trying to grow here, Mom," she said to me the other day. "I'm just trying to get through Christmas. "

Some seasons are like that.

these are a few of my favorite things

this weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions for me....all over the place, i feel as if i have experienced every emotion known to man, tonight, i sit awake listening to christmas music through the television and staring at the blinking lights on my christmas tree and i started reflecting on things that truly make me happy in my life and thought perhaps sharing them might make me feel some better, so bear with me

listening to christmas music, especially the old stuff, makes me remember my childhood and how i was allowed to sleep by the tree and listen to records and how i would stage elaborate dance routines that to me reflected the stories i heard on the songs.

giving gifts, i am a much better giver than a receiver of gifts, to me it makes me smile to be able to give someone that one thing that they have wanted, or to give someone who isn't expecting anything a bit of happiness, i take great care in my selections and pray and think about each person while i shop.

leading a group of two and three year olds in singing "jingle, jingle, happy bells" in the church pagent, it is a tradition and even though this year i was singing solo it made me smile to remember how much joy this song brings to so many people who have heard it sung for 40 some years.

eating pancakes with my daughter at denny's in the middle of the night, and getting to the heart of what is on her mind and how she feels about life, and just laughing about silly things, added bonus when we go in p.j.'s.

decorating my christmas tree, i go all out, including the ever dreaded tinsel strands, it is not elegant and matching like so many trees i see, there is no theme to it, but i love it more and more each year, the kids are really into, i have bought them an ornament each year since they were born and they are very territorial about hanging their own ornaments.

seeing lights on homes as i am out and about, it is a simple thing yet to me it is so breathtakingly beautiful, it seems pure and inviting and especially in the fog when it looks kind of hazy or in the rain when it twinkles just a bit more, it is like prozac to me.

no school, no homework, enough said.

watching old rankin bass christmas shows, i own them all on vhs and most on dvd, favorite is year without a santa claus, because of heat miser and snow miser, it just cracks me up, i also have a soft spot in my heart for the grinch and for a disney one called small one.

fires in my stove, the heat and glow make me so warm and i feel safe, not scared or cold.

the traditions i have established with my kids, i have left a legacy that they can continue or abandon but they will never forget.

friends and spending more time with them, laughing, playing games, eating, smoking, drinking, seeing movies, shopping, all of it, time is precious to me and being with people i love and trust means the world to me.

reading the christmas story and remembering why we get this time of year to spend with loved ones, thinking about how mary felt as a mother and everything going wrong on the night she gave birth, remembering that this time of year i was always safe and knowing who it was that made it that way, i always feel closest to god this time of year.

ok, i feel a little better, not great but a little more relaxed and able to hopefully get some sleep, i have had a rough go of it this week, please take care of yourselves and the ones you love this season, please take time to reflect on what makes you happiest, and please know i am thinking of you all with fondness in my heart. much love and gratitude to have you in my life! Merry Christmas!

good times

My cell phone

I don't know how to make a text message on my new cell phone or even how to send one but according to my cell phone bill, I have done both. Not only that, I have done it twice!

faith of a child

A couple of weeks ago I sat in the living room of Dakota House with Kiki on my lap. Kiki is a little boy who has the coveted privelege of being the solitary male allowed at Girls Only. If he were not allowed to attend, his sister Danielle could not either, as she is his main caretaker. So... every Thursday, there he is. Breaking the rule, knowing it, and smiling with his entire being.

On this Thursday we were watching the second half of The Gospel of John. I was very tired, having one of those days in which my body brings me somewhere and my heart and brain follow reluctantly. I was content, sitting there with Kiki on my lap, his dirty little fingers occasionally stuffing the popcorn he was sharing into my hand.

The amazing gift I was given that evening was to see the whole of the Jesus story unfold before a believing child's eyes. Kiki believes in Jesus with that legendary faith of a child we have long heard and talked about. He believes in Him because Miss Irisa and Miss Jamie have taught him to, and because the Holy Spirit is alive and well in Kiki. He knows very little of the Bible and the stories we all know by heart.

So it was all new to Kiki. His running commentary was pure gold.

When Jesus was calling Lazarus out of the grave:
"I think it's going to work, Miss Jamie. I do."

When the pharisees were after Jesus:
"Why don't they believe He is God? I would believe Him, Miss Jamie."

And when Jesus was dying on the cross, (whispered gently with hands clasped together) :
"I'm sorry Jesus. But I love you."

I left there that evening transformed. The faith of a child is a wondrously beautiful thing. I wanted to grab him up and take it in through my skin by osmosis... to somehow get to that place of sheer trust and pure belief. I drove home praying for just a glimmer of that kind of faith.

I pray for it still.

the second coming

So after reading Cory's post the urgency to get a new Baby Jesus for the manger somehow increased ever so slightly. We'd had a bit of fun with our missing posters that we pasted around the neighborhood...but the novelty wore off rather quickly, to tell you the truth. So today Emily and I picked out and purchased a new baby and we lovingly and trustingly placed it into the manger. Strapped down with wire, of course, but still...

We stood back and admired the holy family and decided all was well again. Not long after I looked out the window as a tiny little girl, bundled from head to toe, came running up to the manger. "Look mama!" she said. "It's Jesus! He's right here. I can touch Him!"

Moral of the story? You gotta have Jesus in the house and you gotta keep Him there. Close enough to touch.

sad but true

MISSING
Baby Jesus
Last seen on December 4th, 2005
in manger at 3338 E. Huntington Blvd

Please return
No questions asked
Reward will be eternal