Out There On the Beam

Last night I learned something from my daughter Emily, which is no rarity. We went to her gymnastics presentation--her first one. She has been enrolled in a gym class for 18 weeks. Emily has never done anything like this before. It was all new to her. On her first day of class she had never done a handstand or a cartwheel. Others in her class who were younger had much more experience, and seemed to pick things up more quickly.

It has taken a lot of hard work, courage, and humility for Emily to not only survive this class, but to excel. I watched her in awe. She tries so hard. She listens to her instructor and then gives it all she's got. It is still hard for her, but she can do it. She walks on her hands and swings her body around on bars and beams... her pretty face flushed and her eyes bright. She accomplished something last night that she has worked all these many weeks to conquer, and she succeeded right there in front of my eyes. The look on her face when she landed and looked up smiling is one I will not forget.

Often I see this thing in myself I do not like. A fear, or an insecurity, or an inability to trust... some combination of these things that ultimately robs me of joy. God has been speaking to me about it lately. He spoke to me again last night through my daughter, who climbed up on that beam and grabbed onto those ropes and in essence, humbly said, "I don't know how to do this. I'm afraid I will fail or get hurt. Can you show me how to do this thing?" And then gave it her all.

Father, help me to look at myself through your eyes, with immeasurably more love than my eyes for my own child. Help me to see that you are pleased with me, delight in me, and take joy in watching me step out and try. Even if I fall or fail or flounder, your heart wells up with love for me. And if I get hurt, I will heal, and learn, and there will be that wondrous feeling of knowing I was out there, even if only for a moment, and you will be there to catch me when I fall, and applaud me when I let go and soar.