through the eyes of a child

oh lord, it is so dark and dreary,
of this fight, i have really grown weary!
my heart it is battered, bruised and scarred,
why does this have to be so hard?
i want to give in, to lay down and die,
is everything i have been told, an outright lie?
i try to be strong, yet i feel so weak,
is everything always going to seem so bleak?
alone, scared and angry,
describes me to a tee.
my mind is shattered,
my heart so battered,
and then a thought occurs to me:
through the eyes of a child,
i will take another look,
with the will of a child,
i will take back what they took,
with the heart of a child,
i will ache at the chance to feel love,
with the hope of a child,
i will believe he is up above,
a long time ago when my mind first split
i found myself looking up from a pit,
i believed he heard my cries and my shout,
i believed he would come and pull me out,
i had seen him before at night, in my dreams,
i knew i would be punished, and yet i still screamed,
he came, just like i believed he would,
and pulled me out, like a good dad should,
wrapped his arms around really tight,
i buried my head with all of my might,
i was scared that if he saw just who i was,
he'd turn and around and leave, just because,
but he just held me tighter, i knew i was saved,
as a child, i trusted, believed and had hope,
but year after year, i soon couldn't cope,
i was cold and fearful, grew up way too fast,
i soon realized that my hope didn't last.
tonight, i was ready to end my life,
too much of all this sorrow and strife,
i lay there with tears, falling fast and free,
i screamed out to him," what's wrong with me"
i felt like a child, throwing a fit,
soon my thoughts went back to that pit,
through the eyes of a child,
i need to see,
he's still there, waiting for me
through the mind of a child,
i need to forgive,
it's the only way to really live,
through the heart of a child,
i need to trust once more,
all the way through, to my very core,
with the will of a child,
i will get back on my feet,
i might be knocked down, but this isn't defeat,
and who knows, after a little while,
this grown-up woman, may have a childlike smile.