gozer the gozerian

I have a virus in my eyes. The white part is bright red. My pupils have been dilated for two days.

I look like that scary lady from Ghostbusters.

Without the cool outfit.

irony and eye rolls

So this afternoon I was dissociating in my therapist's office, and my gaze fell upon my Official Calvin Crest Nalgene. I gazed at it for a while and then read it. It said this:

Jesus answered and said to her {italics mine}, Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him {mine again} shall never thirst but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.

And I wondered if that was what Jesus really said to that woman. And then I began to ponder whether the adjustment was intentional... if it happened just because men had translated the words. And I decided it was true. That was what happened. And I felt a little angry.

Then I tuned back in to my therapist and heard her saying this:

"Jamie, you perceive reality in the feelings you attach to words. And each and every word is of great importance to you. Those words and the feelings you have assigned them become your reality. Then you have a reaction based on that 'reality' you have created."

I gave her an 'as-if-you-know-what-you-are-talking-about' eye roll and took a long drink from my nalgene.

quote and question for the day

"You look like an Italian Vineyard Matron."


question: Has anyone ever actually seen an Italian vineyard matron? Like, what do they do, exactly, these matrons?

seal off all the exits

Someone has stolen all the pictures off my blog.

My son is at camp this week. I like thinking about that.

We are back home after a week at the cabin. We had leisurely time with family. It was cool there (it's NOT here). We slept on the porch. We ate a lot of really good food. We swam in the creek. I'm feeling very fortunate to have a place that that to go. I want to go back.

Going to Washington

Greetings,
My mom and I are going to Washington for a week. We are flying out of this heat on Monday morning and will return on the next Tuesday. Please be praying that this trip goes well for us. My mom will be deciding what she wants to sell and what she wants to keep. The goal is to have two garage sales while we are up there.
Please pray.
Thanks,
George

Calvin Crest

Thanks for praying while I was up at Calvin Crest. The week started off with one great morning at the Dakota House camp out and the very famous Sunday morning breakfast with eggs and hashbrowns. Did I mention hash browns?
What an awesome ministry! Worship was a blast and I only wish I had a video camera for Jamie's "sermon" that morning. Great job Jamie!
The week at CC was a blast. Those kids responded soooo well the Holy Spirit and what He was saying to them. Several came forward to "get saved" which always blesses me beyond words. The worship times were also sweet! The staff up there rocks and Tony is doing well which makes me happy. Tony has paid a huge price to get the program "on track." The worship there is so differnt then it was years ago. Tony also gets speakers that speak his same heart.
Camper statement of the week, "I figured out this week that I can't save myself so I am letting Jesus save me." Smart camper.
THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS.
Blessings.

Words to a song (Rap)

Will You Take Me As I Am?
by: Lecrae
I heard this song (Rap) at Calvin Crest and started to cry.
I have downloaded it from iTunes and it is the best 99 cents I have spent in a long time.

[Talking]
Christ through faith
I talked to a cat the other day
And he was like;
"Man I really wanna come to Christ
But I gotta clean my life up first, get my sins together"
I told em, I used to think that way too
I thought I had to change myself before I could come to Christ
But Christ changed me
Let me tell you my story, it starts like this

[Verse One]
It's 5:46 in the mornin', tossin' and turnin'
Chest burnin', sermons in my head keep reocurrin'
Havin' visions in my head of a kid
Cryin' at the feet of the Father, for all the wrong things that he did
Now I'm sweatin' in my sheets can't sleep
My mind keeps tellin' me I'm six feet deep
Don't remind me, even though I'm still alive I can't tell
The way I'm living my life I feel I'm going to hell
God they telling me I should accept you
That you had to leave the world, cause the world left you
Reason I can't change, like a mystery to me
So I make believe there really is a heaven for a G
Even though they say you loved the world so much, you shed ya blood
God I feel I'm too messed up for love
They tell me come as I am but I smell like smoke
My whole lifes full of sin cause it's all I know
The bible told me that you died for my sins
If I believe in Christ, it'll save me from the end
But I'm scared to ask you, to save me my heart
So evil, I got thoughts, that's full of hatred hurtin' people
I thought at first I had to clean up my life
Now I'm hearin' I just need to cling to the light
I'm ready to do it, but Lord I pray you understand
My life is a mess, will you take me as I am

[Chorus]
Will you take me as I am
I know the way I'm living is wrong
But I can't change on my own, trying to make it alone
I wonder, how could you love me when my life so ugly
But you came down and died for me

Will you take me as I am
I know the way I'm living is wrong
But I can't change on my own, trying to make it alone
I wonder, how could you love me when my life so ugly
But you came down and died for me
Will you take me as I am

[Verse Two]
I'm sick and tired of trying to me the man, my daddy never taught me to be
I'm grown up now, life ain't what I thought it would be
I made many mistakes in my past I can't fix
Now I'm staring at this crusifix tatted on my wrist
Is it true what they telling me, am I just crazy
Did ya bleed on the cross, for my sins to save me
But why would ya die for me
My whole life I've been working for Satan, while He fed lies to me
And now I'm hearing too much, trying to get a true touch
Of a love that can change me, I'm all screwed up
Figure Hell is what I deserve
But your word says we all fall short so I guess we all outta burn
Teach me I wanna learn
How you could save a wretch like me, before death says it's my turn
I think I finally understand
No matter my past, you'll still take me as I am

[Chorus]

[Verse Three]
My father had a few last words to give
I be telling people the reason to live
The reason to die, united with the King in the sky
This life is passing us by, I got no reason to lie
You'll never give the world enough, they'll hunger for more
They figure there ways are nuthin to the wonderous lord
More security than the man that left you
More love than the moms who kept you
He'll always accept you
Be everything your supposed to
Let Christ rule ya heart, mind, body and soul cause He chose you
And if the world don't know you
It don't matter you're Gods child and he'll never disown you
Ya purpose on earth is far from worthless
That's why ya glorified like ya life's been purchased
And it don't matter if the world don't seen us
We still mean the world to Jesus

[Chorus]

[Talking]
Yeah, we're saved by grace through faith
It's not works
Ain't nuthin you can do, ain't nuthin I can do
That could get us this grace salavation that we got man
It's only Christ
So if you feel like you gotta clean yourself up
Before you can come to Him
Forget it
Just come to Him
He'll take you as you are, and he'll change YOU
From the inside, out

don't forget...

... to pray for George this next week as he speaks at jr. high camp.

I just like thinking about all those kids listening to George.

Lucky....

next phase of the summer

This weekend is the Dakota House camping trip (always a good time) and the next day upon our return we leave for the cabin. This summer is a blur. I'm a little worn out and looking forward to some time to sit by the creek, read, hang out with Brad and my kids, take long hikes, and just be in one place for a while. I'm also looking forward to little kids giddy with the excitement of an adventure, their faces plastered with marshmallows and dirt, and smiles that can break you heart.

cruisin' for a bruisin'

We're home. I'm not standing in a line.
A few things were confirmed:

1. I love my family and my husband.
2. I don't love cruises. Or amusement parks.
3. Mexico can break your heart.
4. Brad is exceedingly patient.
5. My parents are overwhelmingly generous and love their children and grandchildren with a fierce and endless devotion.